Monday, March 9, 2009

Best and Worst Star Wars Races

Since I am both a slave to trends and a late adopter of trends, I will now put forth my own 'best and worst' lists as I have seen done on several other blogs that I peruse. Here then are my most and least favorite alien races and some short reasons why I categorize them as I do:


10. Humans
What can I say. Humans rock. They make up a large percentage of the galactic population and (in game terms at least) they don't have any bogus racial abilities. They're just adaptable. Racial prejudice you say? I won't deny it. 

9. Mantellian Savrip
You have to be a really big geek like I am to even know what this is. Remember in the holo-chess game (actually called dejarik—wow, am I a geek) Artoo and Chewie were playing? Remember the critter that picks the other one up and body-slams it, then flexes and lets out a tiny-little roar of victory? That's a Mantellian Savrip. Awwww, who's a fierce little Savrip!? You are! raaor!

8. Bothans
The race you love to hate. Even though I really dislike most of the artwork showing Bothans (I always pictured them more 'fox like' than 'dog like') the concept is still solid. They're a good 'villain' race, even if they are supposed to be on the good guy's side.

7. Hiromi
A little known species introduced in the Marvel Star Wars comics. Picture a race of cockroach-like guys who are incredibly inept, but who dream of galactic domination through incredibly complex behind the scene schemes. They provide some fun comic relief in the comics and I certainly think the Star Wars universe is big enough to include their brand of humor.

6. Zeltrons
Another Marvel comic invention. Picture a race of magenta-skinned near-humans with over-active libidos and a very liberal society. Now picture the hot females of this species. Yes, I was a teenager when these comics came out. Yes, that could explain my like of them.

5. Ithorians
Yeah, I know, the good old hammerheads never had a big part in any of the movies, but I have always loved the look of the race—one of the more unique alien species. Plus the character of Momaw Nadon (introduced in the RPG) was very cool.

4. Squib
Blue space squirrels who collect junk and base their entire culture around bargaining—the more complex (and non-sensical) the terms of the deal, the better. Yeah, I'm against 'cute and fuzzy' races in general, but the Squibs put an obnoxious and frenetic twist on the typical fuzzy that I can respect.

3. Tusken Raiders
As presented in the movies, there isn't a whole lot to love. But the culture that grew around them in my mind (and through various RPG sources) took in a more 'noble savage' feel than bloodthirsty brute. They were a nice touch to the 'Wild West' feel of Tatooine—he 'Indians' to the spacer 'cowboys' and moisture farming 'settlers'. I think the character of Bob the Tusken from my campaign really helped make me like this race.

2. Yuzzem
Introduced in the novel Splinter of the Minds Eye, the Yuzzem characters (Hin and Kee) were essentially stand-ins for Chewbacca—though they proved to be much more than just that. They were gleefully barbaric warriors, much moreso than Chewbacca, who only play-acted at being a 'brute'. They were fun and terrible all at the same time, and when they died at the end of the Novel, I distinctly remember feeling their loss. For the first time it made me really HATE Darth Vader.

1. Wookiees
Chewbacca. They're just cool. Live with it. Aaaarooo.


10. Defel
Popularized by Zahn in the Heir to the Empire trilogy. Way too 'powergamer' a race. They were tough, nigh-invisible, scary-looking, strong, yada yada yada. Every twink wants to play one of these.

9. Tof
Introduced in the Marvel comics, they were supposed to be the great intergalactic threat capable of conquering all of the Galaxy. Unfortunately, they were a bunch of fat green guys who dressed like the three musketeers and flew around in giant space-galleons. I kid you not. Wow. What a let down.

8. Lepi
Humanoid, green rabbit-men. Another Marvel comic invention. Ugh. What is it with them and green?

7. Cathar
I say Cathar, but I really mean almost all cat-like humanoid races. I like cats, but I think the people who are into these cat-humanoids REALLY like their cats...if you catch my drift. Plus, the Cathar in the Knights of the Old Republic game had an annoying accent. 

6. Chiss
Another twink race. Admiral Thrawn was a Chiss. Blue Skin. Red Eyes. Creepy, yes. But come on, the entire race can't be as cool or talented as that one admiral or they would have overrun the galaxy by now.

5. Ewok
Killer teddy bears. Even at 12 years old I was a bit skeptical of the Ewoks and their prowess versus the Empire. I really don't HATE them, but I don't like them much either. Played too heavily on the cute factor and not enough on the rabid little knee-biter aspect.

4. Kushiban
Even cuter than the Ewoks. Tiny, fluffy, force-sensitive bunnies! *barf*

3. Noghri
The ultimate twink race, so chock-full of bogus special abilities as to make them any game-master's bane. Plus, I still find it difficult to believe that in the 15 or so years the Noghri Death Commandos had been operating, not one of them had ever been seen before.

2. Ssi-Ruuk
I get the feeling that the popularity of 'Jurassic Park' had a lot to do with the creation of an entire race of Velociraptors. And that's about all they've got going for them.

1. Dathomiran Rancor
The Rancor as a monster? That I'm fine with. The Rancor as a semi-intelligent mount for amazon-force-witches? Wow. Twink. Go figure it is yet another horrible thing introduced in the 'Courtship of Princess Leia' novel.


As a guy, I can appreciate the appeal of hot green-, blue-, red-, orange-, whatevercolored-skinned chicks. Like Captain Kirk, I think they're nice. The head tentacle thing? Well. It is actually kind of creepy, in a japanimation kind of way. Thus, I have mixed emotions on the Twi'lek.

As much as the recent Clone Wars cartoons have caused me to hate Jar Jar Binks, I can't, in good conscience, condemn the entire race on the basis of one idiot. In fact, the Gungans in the movie were pretty brave and selfless, so meesa thinkin' you gotta give them credit for that.