Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Putting the FU in The Force Unleashed


Seriously, The Force Unleashed? Seriously?

I'll make this a quick one, because I'm sure my ranting about the crap that is 'The Force Unleashed' is boring everyone by now. But now that the game has been out for a little bit, I have taken a look at the 'storyline' of the game- both its summary on various wikis and the cut-scenes as shown on YouTube.

The verdict? It is stupid. Am I surprised? No.

So this time around, Starkiller (still a stupid name) defeats Vader. Oh. Wait. He did that in the first game. What's surprising is that he didn't defeat the Emperor again. Which automatically makes the ending of this game an anti-climax after the first one. But they did 'switch it up' a little. See, this time you not only DEFEAT Vader, you capture him and turn him over to the Rebellion to stand trial for his crimes.


So you not only defeat the main bad guy of the series (again), you capture him. Part of the value of a villain (in a dramatic sense) is their strength...their air of menace. When your main character routinely beats up on the villain, that villain ceases to be strong...ceases to be a menace...ceases to be a villain. In fact, they become somewhat comical. Its a 60's-style Batman thing. "Egads, that pesky Vader is on the loose again!" That's how this piece of crap ends. With the heroes flying off with a defeated Vader to take him to 'prison' to stand trial.

Of course, there is a set up for the third installment- with Boba Fett trailing after the heroes- evidently to rescue Vader. But so what. Again I have to say: What is there in the Galaxy that could possibly pose a threat to Starkiller at this point? I mean he can now hurl capital ships around seemingly at will and evidently survive planetary re-entry THROUGH a planetary defense shield.

That's right. During a particular space battle, he stands on the bridge of a ship as it heads down to ram a planet's shield. Along the way, he hurls pieces of ship wreckage out of the way- including practically whole Corvettes. The ship (somehow) survives the collision with the shields and a re-entry angle that is pretty much straight down. At this point, Starkiller smashes out the front window of the ship and leaps out. Though... moving at terminal velocity, I don't see how this is physically possible. But he's Starkiller, so... Right. He then free-falls next to the ship as its going down and...that's about the time I turned off the video in disgust. This isn't Star Wars. This is a superhero movie. A bad superhero movie. Only in this case, Starkiller apparently doesn't have anything akin to 'Kryptonite' (though Vader alludes to the fact that his love for Juno Eclipse is Starkiller's weakness- wow, how original Haven't seen that one since- oh, pretty much any Superman movie).


I guess a lot of people actually like this game. Hell, it will probably win another award for its great story.



  1. Also of note: Terminal velocity for an aerodynamic ship with high mass is much higher than it is for a light, unaerodynamic human body. As soon as he tried to 'get out' of the broken bridge viewport, he'd be snapped in half. It's all about air resistance. Just sayin'. :)

  2. No, see, he used telekinesis to form an aerodynamic shell around his body. Yeah. That's the ticket. Hell, I was just waiting for him to fly backwards around the planet to stop and then reverse the flow of time.